How to address people in Vietnamese

How to address people in Vietnamese: a practical guide for visitors

Vietnamese does not use a fixed word for “you.”

Instead, people address each other based on:

• Age difference
• Social hierarchy
• Relationship context

If you understand one rule, understand this: Age determines how you speak.

This guide focuses on practical usage for everyday situations.

1. Social relationships (most important for visitors)

In daily life — restaurants, taxis, shops, hotels, casual conversations — you estimate someone’s age compared to yours.

A simple way to think about it: Compare their age to your grandparents, your parents, and yourself.

Quick reference table

How to think about it naturally

Elderly (grandparent generation)

If the person is around retirement age or clearly elderly:

• Call them: Ông / Bà
• Refer to yourself as: Cháu

Example: Cháu cảm ơn bà.

Parent generation (older adults)

• If the person is around your parents’ age:
  • Call them: Bác
  • Refer to yourself as: Cháu
• If slightly younger than your parents:
  • Call them: Cô (female) / Chú (male)
  • Refer to yourself as: Cháu

Around your age

If the person is close to your age or slightly older:

• Call them: Anh (male) / Chị (female)
• Refer to yourself as: Em

This is the most common everyday usage in Vietnam.

Slightly younger than you

If the person looks a bit younger than you (within about 10 years):

• Call them: Em
• Refer to yourself as:
  • Anh (if you are male)
  • Chị (if you are female)

Much younger (children)

If the person is significantly younger (child or teenager):

• Call them: Cháu
• Refer to yourself as:
  • Cô (if female)
  • Chú (if male)

In modern urban settings, you may also use:

• Tôi (neutral, more formal)

What if I am not sure?

Age estimation is not an exact science.

Vietnamese people also guess — it’s normal.

If unsure:

• Choose the slightly more respectful option.
• Or default to Anh / Chị for adults (safe and common).

For example: It is safer to call someone “Chị” rather than “Em” if you are unsure.

Can I just use “I” and “you”?

In many situations — especially with younger or middle-aged Vietnamese — people understand simple English pronouns like “I” and “you.”

You can use them briefly if you feel stuck.

However:

Using Vietnamese address forms, even imperfectly, shows effort and cultural awareness — and is always appreciated.

Think of “I/you” as a backup, not the default.

2. Family relationships (for deeper cultural understanding)

Inside families, the system becomes more specific and detailed.

Common examples:

• Father: Bố / Ba
• Mother: Mẹ
• Grandfather: Ông
• Grandmother: Bà
• Older brother: Anh
• Older sister: Chị
• Younger sibling: Em

Children refer to themselves as:

• Con

Vietnamese families rarely use personal names alone.

Hierarchy is always reflected in language.

Why this system matters

Vietnamese pronouns are not just grammar.

They express:

• Respect
• Age hierarchy
• Social closeness
• Cultural awareness

Choosing the correct form immediately builds goodwill.

Choosing incorrectly is usually forgiven — especially for foreigners — but showing effort makes a strong positive impression.

Final survival rules

If you remember only three things:

• Older → lower yourself (Em / Cháu)
• Younger → gently raise yourself (Anh / Chị / Cô / Chú)
• When unsure → use Anh / Chị

Politeness matters more than perfection.

A smile and respectful tone will always help.